Comments on Thrifty Mom in a Consumer World: It's not a magic trick, it's parenting.

Here here to your post! and fabulous comment! I pe...

2009-05-31T13:17:36.428-04:00

Here here to your post! and fabulous comment! I personaly would like to add my two cents that the child welfare system (I'm in NYS so understand where I am!) makes people (FALSELY!) believe that disciplining your child is tantamount to child abuse. SOOOOOO not true!! Discipline is about TEACHING and yeah it takes WORK!! There is a child in my middles' school that IS ADHD (Urrrgh AMEN to you Blue for not using her autism as an excuse as soooo many parents do around here!) that literally runs around like a blooming idiot and forces the rest of us to hear, "Oh he has ADHD!" Well excuse me but ADHD is NOT an excuse for bad behavior! He ran around at last yeat's Mother Son bowling night like a tyrant - across bowling lanes and knocking food all over and randomly hitting kids. I've know him since my Rock Star and he were in Nursery School and he ruined EVERY performance and special activiy there. After he almost got hit by - ummm bowling balls for the 5th time while his mother kept saying and expecting everyone to feel sorry for her, "Oh I just can't control him with his ADHD!" I lowly and firmly called his name, gave him a stern look, piked him up off of the bowling lane and carried him over to his mother saying firmly to her, "He has to leave! He is a danger to himself and others!"
When I walked back to my son who was sitting getting ready to bowl the other mothers were like "Wow, I can't believe you were so calm about that!" Well DUH! I haven't taught middle and high school kids on and off for over 20 years and am raising 5 of my own and not learned a few things!! I also think others are too afraid to say anything for fear of being called "insensitive" - bad behavior needs to be taken care of. We all need to speak up and say it not right when it isn't. To be silent is to be okay with it! You are not arrogant or think you are better than - you just want a more civil peaceful world. Nothig wrong with that!

BRILLIANT freakin' comment! I think this sort of ...

2009-05-25T06:40:05.969-04:00

BRILLIANT freakin' comment!

I think this sort of thing is commonplace nowadays, too. I don't think it's just us.

I have a huge amount of admiration for my kids' teachers (and not just because my husband is also a teacher). I see what they have to put up with.

I hate to sound like an old fart, but i don't remember EVER having anyone in my class when I was a kid jump up and run around or throw things or hit people.

My DD's class has 26 kids. There were only suppose...

2009-05-24T20:47:45.101-04:00

My DD's class has 26 kids. There were only supposed to be 19 at the beginning of the year (but you know how that goes). Most of them are really sweet kids who try, but don't always make the mark (I include my own chatterbox in this group. She's never mean, she just doesn't seem to have the self control to shut the hell up in class, no matter what anybody does/says to her about it).

Some, a good 20% actually, have behavior-related disorders (on the autistic spectrum, ADHD, etc) and are either medicated or are on special diet and behavioral routines that require A LOT of the teacher's attention.

And then there's a couple that are little hellions. One of these hellions used to live across the street and a couple houses down from me, back when I lived in The Bunker.

This family let their kids run rampant... their dig used to come sh*t on our doorstep, even, because we were fostering a dog that HE didn't like. Because our house was vacant so long, he thought it was HIS territory. And so did those kids. Now their youngest is in my DD's class. I have been a volunteer in that class all year. I know the kids, their allergies, their strengths, what triggers them to get nutty... and OMG this little booger sets off all the other kids in his wake.

How are these kids supposed to learn self discipline if they're not taught at home, right from the start? How are they supposed to learn to read, count, and memorize things if all the teachers have time for is to teach Noah not to hit Suzie and spit on Danny? It turns class into a circus. And it REALLY ticks me off, because although my kid can read, memorize, count, and cut and paste with the best of them, her teacher has a hard time setting her up for more challenging stuff because she's up to her ears with an instigator and a couple of kids who see the mess he's making and decide they want attention, too. Which doesn't help my kid, because the room starts getting chaotic, and instead of doing what she's supposed to, she's telling her little friends that said instigating monster is yucky and mean and she won't play with him at recess because he kicks her... and then she winds up in trouble for yapping away and saying mean things instead of doin her work.

I have no idea what to do about this stuff. I really don't. I don't want to let my daughter think she's better than other kids because she doesn't throw food at lunch and doesn't knock people down. That's not superior behavior. That's what's expected of her, and she shouldn't get any extra rewards for that. It just seems more and more that the bar for expected behavior is dropping, and people aren't seeing the progressive crapball rolling down the hill. They say the world is going to hell, but few are doing anything about it IN THEIR OWN HOMES.